Viagra Falls

Well, we survived the storm. And we spent another day doing absolutely nothing in the middle of Aimless land.. sorry, Amish. The main reason was the Tolkien-Shire outlook and a very big, nice pool! To be honest, we could have been anywhere, instead of nowhere (if you see what I mean).

The only time we lef tthe campsite was actually when WE didn't; Sarah went on her own. She met a scary dog, scary people with funny hats, and scary stores. She recounts that she saw a 'farm shop' which was up a dusty track with no-one else there. She decided against it! Instead she went into the bustling metropolis of Shreve (population 5), in a desperate attempt to find and buy coffee. Whilst there she met the Shire (no, I'm serious, that's what they call it) Sheriff, but got away with it.

Eventually we left today, after me and Lewis spent 30 mins trying to clear and flush the 'black water' tank (definition: black water = turds and other floaters). Something, or perhaps someone, was slightly stubborn. Fortunately Lewis is still small enough to fit up the pipe.... and his hair is pretty long now, which helps.

So, we set off East, but of course ended up going North. I truly hate Esmerelda now. Even her short cuts end up taking us through roadworks with lanes 3 foot wide and bridges just high enough to avoid decapitating ourselves. B____.

Cutting across the beeped out parts of the day, we reluctantly decided to go to Niagra Falls, from the Canadian side. Yes, I can confirm that it is another big hole, this time filled with water and mist. Awesome. Plus about 28 million tourists like us, horrendous prices, and not a lot else.

Actually, I should say what happened at the border on the way into Canada - you know that you're not supposed to lie to border staff? That they can read every emotion in your face? That they track every muscle tic and drop of sweat dripping from your unfaithful forehead?

Well, this guy asked me how long we were planning to spend in Canada. What could I say?

'Oh about 30 minutes, because we only want to see Niagra Falls from the Canadian side because it's supposed to be better and we've heard that the rest of Canada sucks?'

So I lied. 'Emmm. About two days. Maybe three.' He looked at me funny. 'Okay, four. Tops.'

Phew. I think I got away with that.
"So where are you going in those four days?"

Shit. Think quickly. 'Emm. We thought we might go to Alaska?'
"Okay sir. But that's in the US."
Shit again.
'Emm. Yes, but there's lots of Canada between here and Alaska, isn't there?' (I asked hopefully).
"That's right sir. Just one more question. Do you, or do you intend to speak French?"

Shit on a stick. 'Emm. Yes. Of course. I mean, oui. Senor.'

"Good. okay then. Enjoy Canada. And Alaska."

By this time I was wiping pools of sweat off my face with a beach towel.
'Yes. Thanks.' Then I had a brain wave. 'We might go to visit Celine Dion's house too...'

"I see. Please step out of the v-hical."

Alright. Alright. Not all of that was true. I didn't need a beach towel.

In any case. We saw Niagra Falls. Both of them. Didn't buy the t-shirt.

Eventually we managed to get back out of Canada again, and into the US of A. A few miles outside of Buffalo, we happened across a KOA campground, which are generally crap, and this one is no exception.

We should stop for the night, before heading off towards the east Coast again in the morning. Although I feel a night drive coming on... maybe....


PS. Thanks Jen for the extensive tips. Very useful. I must say that I have taken the opportunity to lubricate my hinge.
(What Sarah? No, that's okay. That's not what I meant. Listen....)